Just Get Through This Tough Talk, Then You Can Go To The Fantasy Suite and Discuss Mosquito Nets

Ashley reads situations as badly as anyone I've ever seen on the bachelor. Woman, all he wants you to say is: I'll move to Austin. And even if you don't really believe it, just frigging say it. This is about winning.
But once again you bumble your way through a key opportunity and snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. You've gotten this far in spite of yourself. Which is amazing. Because are you terrible under the big lights, AND you're annoying as shit. I'm surprised Brad didn't jump out of God's window. Must have been so tempting.
And that rustling in the woods? Yeah that's Michelle ready to take you out with a blow gun. At least she had fight in her. You just suck.
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