So Now Where We Headed?

Cabins over the water in Fiji? Awesome safari in South Africa? 

Switzerland.

Wait. What? 

Gotta be one of the most disappointing final destinations ever. The Fantasy Suites just won't have the same cache for some reason. Best we can hope for is Ben and Courtney feed each other cheese fondue in some state of undress. Oh well. I'll take it. At any rate, here are the rankings:

1. Courtney. Mortal lock. I don't care who shows up to try and ruin it. This ship has sailed.

2. Lindzi. I think she ekes in here. Don't know why. Don't know how. But he likes her. She's in the final two.

3. Nicki. I've been predicting her downfall for three weeks now. And she keeps on proving me wrong. The road ends here which means it probably doesn't.

See you next week!

Hey! Hey!

We don't need that language.

"I Had No Clue This Was Coming."

Um...were you AT the hometown date? Because we were. Hence, we ALL saw it coming. Note to Kacie, keep the San Francisco wine maker dude you love as far as possible from parents who say things like, "I hope you're thinking about this decision prayerfully." That's gonna plant your ass in the back of a limo faster than Alli wearing a spelunking helmet. Not Ali. Alli.

Game Changer

After Jack Nicklaus ran away with the 1965 Masters, Bobby Jones said this: He plays a game with which I am not familiar. Well, you could say the same about Courtney's performance on the Bachelor. Going from bitchy to diabolical to cunning to sweet to naked right when she needed to. And just when you think you've seen all her pitches she unloads this on you. Quite possibly the most flawlessly orchestrated hometown date in the history of the Bachelor. Perfection. From the fake wedding, to the normal family with the nice spread, to the asymmetrical table cloth, to being, dare I say, genuine. She didn't just throw a great hometown date. She completely redefined the genre. You gotta respect it.

I Defy You

To not want to hang with Rick Robertson. That dude is a good time in a sweater vest.

These Guys Are All Siblings, Right?

This is too much. Obviously these crazy bastards are all related. That said, the vibe couldn't have been more different. Nicki's parents were sweet and nice. Kacie B's were weird and mean and pretty much killed her chances. Home town giveth. Home town taketh away.

Hey Mrs. B! Will You Accept This Rose

Sweater?